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Knickerbocker, Lafayette, IN

Gay boy: We need to eat Greek soon.
Gal Pal: Well, my boyfriend is Greek.

There's reasons!

Ya know...If I had known there would be camping, I would have A) brought a tent and 2) not come.

Letter E of Darvocet bender...

Aim Carefully...

Lafayette, IN

Guy: You know, I was thinking about Monica Lewinsky the other day. I mean, who wouldn't screw the president? I mean, he's the PRESIDENT! Well, not this one, though...
Girl: I wouldn't touch this president with a 50 foot pole.
Guy: I would...If only to poke him in the eye.

Just as Baffling, Less Messy...

Lafayette, IN

Guy on phone: 'Milking the elusive coconut'? Is that like female ejaculation?

Yes, That's Exactly What I Call It.

Tippecanoe Mall, Lafayette, IN

Teenage Mall Rat #1: "When lezzies have sex is it still called 'fucking'?"
Teenage Mall Rat #2: "No, I'm pretty sure it's called 'clitty-clitty bang-bang'."

Ohhh, Me First...

L Train, Chicago, IL

Automated Voice: Solicitation is prohibited on CTA trains. Violators will be prosecuted.

3 Passengers: Violators will be violated.

I Love the People in Chicago.

Red Line train, Chicago, IL

North/Clybourn stop
Conductor: Please move away from the doors to allow them to close, thank you.

Clark/Division stop
Conductor: PASSENGER!! REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE DOOR, OR I WILL COME REMOVE YOURSELF FOR YOU!!

Aww, Come On...He's an Orphan

Neon Cactus, West Lafayette, IN

Drunk Guy: Would you go out with me if I told you my father was Pope John Paul II?
Girl: Me? No, sorry.
Drunk Guy: What if I told you Terri Schiavo was my mom?
Girl: I would feel sorry for you, but no date.

That's the Good Kind?

Girl on Phone: It wasn't even the good kind of 'I'm so drunk I need to puke' puke.

I See Red...

Harry's Chocolate Shop, West Lafayette, IN

Drunk Guy #1: You know, in theory, Communism is a good idea.
Drunk Guy #2: Yeah, IN THEORY.
Drunk Girl: Well, IN THEORY, slavery was kinda cool, too.
Drunk Guy #1: Um, no...not really...